In Control

Paradox lies at the heart of the most meaningful truths.  For example,

“Pray as though everything depends on God; behave as though everything depends on you.”

I’ve seen this attributed to Christian and to Jewish sources, and I dare to think the concept lives in the repositories of wisdom in many other places.

It can be helpful to see paradox as lopping off extremes.  For example, part of the above quote warns against using God’s sovereignty as an excuse for indifference.  But it also warns against the opposite extreme of complete self reliance, as though nothing gets done without you!  Cutting those out clears the conceptual stage, creating space that can then be filled with any number of good ways to rely on the Lord proactively.

What are some of these ways?  I smile to remember examples that others have shared with me.  Each one that comes to mind can be ambiguously interpreted.  For example, my own history includes three distinct episodes wherein we were in transition from one place to another, one stage of employment to another, facing the threat of depleted resources: going broke.  But in each case both the actions within our control, and events beyond us dovetailed, so that the disasters did not materialize.  Had we not done everything we could responsibly do, would we have still escaped?  Maybe.  But everything we could have done, even when done, was not sufficient to avoid disaster.  It is impossible to resolve the description to a neat, logical bottom line.  As far as mere logic and thought are concerned, it’s equally valid to say, on the one hand, “God saved us,” and on the other, “We saved ourselves.”

Lest you think I equate “trusting in God” with “getting results I like,” I also have experiences where I did everything I could to escape a heavy and persistent difficulty, but those things beyond my control did not cooperate; I remained in my difficulty.  The difference, in examples where I did better, was that I continued to rely on God, to seek daily, “Your will; your time.”  Now although my difficulty did not disappear, I was able to operate with a lighter conscience, and with some measure of strength to support others even while enduring the same difficulty.  In short, I had real hope in the midst of a painful situation from which escape had been denied.

What I find is that no discursive method resolves the conundrum in the admonition to rely on God in everything and to do everything you can, honestly.  Consequently, while fear arises over the releasing of control, the taking seriously the prayer, “Thy will, not mine, be done,” no set of words entirely removes that fear.  Rather, the resolution of the paradox comes through the resolve to act.  Turning over control of my life to the Giver of Life turns out to be an act of courage, not just once, but persistently.