The Second

Just about everyone knows what a tax form is.  I remember one had a box which, if checked, would give $1 of my taxes to some presidential candidacy fund.  And just about everyone has filled out a form answering whether he (or she) was male or female, providing two little boxes to choose from.  Equally famous (and infamous) is the multiple choice exam where significant results hang in the balance, being settled by filling enough of the correct boxes.   These and many other examples have this in common:  that by simply checking boxes, big things can happen.  Such big things happen because it’s usually some authority—the IRS, a legal institution, a professor—who hands out a form to be completed, completion of which can set the institution in motion for our benefit.  Tax money returned, passing grades, admission into a club, and so on.  This way of interacting is so commonplace that we come to expect to be given a form, a list, something to fill ...

At a dinner party I met a woman who described the good work environment she finds with her new employer.  Not only was it unexpected but far exceeded what she could have expected. Through one experience she herself was afforded an opportunity to get past the pain of facing another Christmas season with the memories of her daughter who died in an accident in a past December.  This lady had proposed that the company modify its Christmas gift exchange, making it instead a gift collection for the Adopt a Family program.  The company did.  Seeing the good will of the new workplace, in working the project through, and having the companies trust and support to lead it, this lady also found new desire for the joyful reminders of Christmas, seeing the joy more than the pain.  For the first time in years she experienced more joy than loss at Christmas time, still loving her lost daughter. When the lady reached the end of recounting this she said, “It was spiritual.”...

I’ve got values but I don’t know how or why!  (The Seeker, by The Who) On a personal level, I make assessments of others, quickly, using two characteristics:      1a.   Is he arrogant?      2a.   Does he show contempt for others? An affirmative to either puts a person on my “don’t trust” list.  Of course, with time, a person could earn trust.  The positive characteristics need to appear:      1b.   Does he have humble behavior?      2b.   Do his words and his behavior respect others? This takes more time because a quick answer to either is unavailable.  Instead a consistent track record must emerge.  Not a perfect record, just consistent. This approach has worked fairly well, and has also been a useful check on my own behavior.  At some point I realized that these core values ultimately have grown out of my f...