A Way of Life

Actions not speeches declare the content of a soul.  My actions, my way of life has followed a template, on balance, of the decent civilized man.  This is not to say that I am decent in any deep and moral sense.  Rather it means that I can check some boxes on a list of things associated with being civilized and decent.  I have worked in a respectable career—as our society counts respect; have earned money, by which to house my family; raised (or supported my wife’s raising of) civil children; funded some people in charitable work.  I think I’ve tried, and know I’ve fallen short, to do what Jesus and the Apostles taught.  But in the end, I see myself as having a basic civilized decency.  I have tried to repent of my secret sins and weaknesses; tried not to be a slave to my appetites, but with weak, inconsistent effort.  What, in short, is this way of life?

If I have accomplished anything, about the best I can say is, I’ve fulfilled my father’s way, which is to live and let live; to, more precisely, mind my own business.  Still, what is this way of life?

When religion says to me, “follow our way,” what would be different? Don’t all the main religions already include the values I have pursued?  And yet, because I am a religious man (I aim to be a Christian), it is a deep puzzle to understand whether my way of life has been determined by my religion, by my society, by my relatives and friends through time, by my own temperament, or some blend of all this and other unknown things.  This is the best example I know that resonates to what Jesus said, “Judge not lest you be judged,”  for which of us really knows ourselves and the motivations of our actions?

A yoga teacher in an exercise class said that yoga is more than movements, but a way of life that teaches gentleness, kindness, and compassion.  I love these things, and have striven (imperfectly) for them.  So to turn a phrase, “what am I to yoga, and what is yoga to me?”  That very morning, there in the sacred book I read this:

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. (Col. 3:12-14)

So, has this been my way of life?  Perhaps not, even though it is the would-be destination on my life’s map.  Have I traveled there?  The weakness of my character blinds me to myself so that I have no answer.  The ember of hope, however, is that these sacred words are true, have always been true, and bring life from the Life Giver.

The good things the yoga teacher offered are good, indeed.  The path I have been on toward them requires so much letting go of my false ideas and false attachments.  This letting go seems a strong and common thread.  So the Way I follow (however imperfectly) fully encompasses, and surpasses, what she offered.  So then I ought to run more fully in the Way I have begun, whose destination is Peace with the Prince of Peace.  The fullness of the Way of Jesus is so much beyond my civilized decency, which is where my self-propelled efforts at gentleness, kindness, and compassion lead.  I am yet on the shallow slopes of the Way.  But in the Saints I see something beautiful, which far exceeds anything I’ve heard from the Hindu, or Buddhist, or Shamanistic ways.

This beauty I crave, more than peace, more than happiness, more than contentment.  The Holy Trinity is Beautiful beyond words and in Him all things are clothed with His Beauty.  Do I crave it deeply enough?  God alone can see.